Ard Arvin
This issue of Keddie’s Picks brought to you by Kenny Frazz.
Things Kenny Is Into
1. La Villa. Good buildering, nice folks, full band in the basement, motorcycle club heavies (OK maybe lightweights but i bet YOU arent in a motorcycle club so shut up), good parties, and nice neighbours. They didnt even call the cops when we lit the front steps on fire! So Viva La Villa.
2. www.petdrs.com This is probably the coolest webpage i have ever seen. I especially like Jump! by van halen on the hip displacement page. So good. I found it when i searched images on google with the keywords Hip bad. yes it worked. I am a genius. You will hear all kinds of favorites from van halen to Stevie wonder, and more! Rock on party people.
3. VIMFF. Thats the Vangroovy Intergroovernal Mountaingroovy FGroovefilmfestival. Vimff.org. Guess who’s coming? its.. its… (not DJ Shadow)… ALAIN ROBERT! Who’s yer daddy?!
4. There are rats crawling in my ceiling. I dont know which column this should go into. Good if they stay there, but bad if they start running on my face when i am sleeping.
5. Vancouver Island. At least until it gets WHOOSHED by a big tsunami or something. The big one’s a comin’. Speaking of the big one (no not The Rock), watch out Richmond, you might want to get some liquefaction
insurance. ( See “Thixotropic”. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thixotropic).
6. Voting. OK OK i better go do it this time. (You know things are just hunky dory when you feel like voting is a chore and you dont have to kill or be killed to cast a ballot, eh?)
Things Kenny Is NOT Into
1. Richmond. I wanted to go see the richmond night market the other day but its not even open. How the hell am I supposed to go to a market if it isnt open? Plus, you don’t wanna be there during the big one. ( See “Thixotropic”. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thixotropic ). If this market ever opens i think it might end up in the INTO category instead. If. [ed note: nah, it would just make you hate Richmond even more].
2. Keddy. Actually spelled (spelt?) Keddie. Eye-eee, not why. This Keddie guy is pretty cool, especially when he is dressed up like a big red lobster man thing. And he hangs out with beautiful short women. And beautiful short women are sometimes pretty cool. Anyhow, the reason Keddie makes it into the NOT INTO column is because he is really slacking on the column lately and makes me write it instead. Dang that varmint!
Well he doesnt really make me but c’mon, the last one was dated from September. Yes, September. 2005. That’s old. If I had ham in the fridge that long I would have to throw it out; I would not be eating that ham. So lets pick up the pace Keddie.
3. Elections. What the hell? I think we need a real dictatorship set up in this country, really spice it up a little, then we could have some American “intervention” and they would “help us” become “democratized” and the US would install a puppet in charge and his name would be…
4. Stephen Harper. Fuck.
5. To be fair, I am not really into Jean.. I mean Paul Martin either.
Fuck.
6. Making little movie/slideshow things with music and all that. It sounds very romantic but really it eats into your free time alot. I do not recommend this course of action. But then again my Dad really doesnt think that i should have skateboarded for like 20 years either, he thinks i should have been out drinking beer for those twenty years instead.
Skateboarding is a waste of time i guess. Fuck that noize yo! (My dad would never understand if i put it that way — more like “Well Dad, if i spent the last 20 years drinkin’ instead of skatin’ i spose i could dig a ditch like you but i sure as hell couldn’t kick flip worth shit”. He might understand that better.) I’m not bitter or anything. I have to go make a little movie now.
Well, another job well done if i do say so myself. Taaa daaaa! For your very own “KENNY FRAZZ FOR DICTATOR / PUPPET / PRIME MINISTER (circle one)” Shirt send your credit card number and expiry date AND an envelope stuffed with money to:
Kenny Fuckin’ Frazz c/o ArdArvin c/o Night Fighters Mocy Club c/o Buildering Club c/o Executive Coordinator Office of the Vice-President Students Old Administration Building
6328 Memorial Road
Outer Space, The Universe.