It has come to our attention that you have been conducting “buildering” contests and activities on the UBC campus. Please be advised that the University considers these activities unacceptable and does not condone them in any way. You and others are not permitted to climb on University structures. Persons found doing so could face University discipline or legal proceedings. Further, please be advised that the University will accept no responsibility for any injury or loss caused by such activities.

Hubert Lai
University Counsel
The University of British Columbia
6528 Memorial Road
Vancouver, BC
V6J 1P2

Dear Mr. Lai,

I can assure you these charges are unfounded, as outlined in our website disclaimer:

Warning: Buildering, a.k.a climbing buildings, always results in serious injury, financial insolvency, and horrible death. All building owners are extremely litigious. You will be caught, charged, sued, convicted, admitted, and omitted. does not promote buildering. promotes cyber-buildering. All stories are fictional. All images depicting buildering are fictional, having been doctored by our highly skilled staff.

Or perhaps you read the disclaimer, which is why you put quotes around “buildering”? Ahhh, you sneaky devil — you’re in on the joke. Sure, we conduct “buildering” contests on campus. Wow, you had me going there. Nicely played sir.