from: Amanda Westenberg,
subject: Re: Account details for amandawestenberg at (deleted)

ur retarded i never signed up on ur site and i dont even know what ur site is.. peace.

> Your account on has been deleted for one of the following reasons:
> 1. You registered, but never clicked on the activation link in the email. Check your spam folder if you never received an activation email, or reply to this email and I’ll clear things up.
> 2. You registered, activated, and then proceeded to post spam. Go away.
> Cheeri-eeri-eeri-o
> -ardarvin

Your Royal Hotness,

Deeply sorry for bothering you. These days running a website is 95% battling trolls and spammers and 5% posting original content. Admittedly, this is due to my oft felt lack of inspiration. The website is about climbing buildings. Really how much can you write about that? Just go climb them. It’s sunny outside.

Anyway, I get a lot of pleasure from deleting spammers’ accounts, and I thought you were one of the same. I’d reinstate your account, but clearly you’ve got no idea what buildering is. I Googled your name to see who I was dealing with here, and holy-fucking-shittlesticks Amanda: You are fucking gorgeous! I’m, like, honoured that your keystrokes were digitized, sent through various wires, and displayed through excitable phospher electrons or something. Not sure about that latter part. It’s almost like we touched.

So two theories here:

1. You have a stalker fan who used your email address to register on the site.

2. You and your (equally hot) girlfriends got tripsy on Red Velvet Martinis, lost your keys, and decided to climb up through the window of your 4th story Manhattan apartment. Then you had a pillow fight to celebrate. Jodie filmed the whole thing in HD 120fps and posted it to Facebook. The first comment was “best buildering vid EVER.” You Googled buildering, saw, and immediately signed up for an account. Then you blacked out.

I’m going with the latter story. Account reinstated. Welcome to the site!