Buy Now. $28.95

My top three New Year’s resolutions are:

1. Devote more time to
2. Climb more.
3. Win a Scrabble tournament.

1 + 2 = good news for readers, however my passion for 3 may outweigh 1 + 2. Right now I’m fanatical about Scrabble. I suppose that means I should make it resolution number 1, but I already spend an ungodly amount of time studying useless words like zarf and jinni, and it wouldn’t be much of a resolution to keep on living the same way.

So, dear reader, I thought I’d tell you about a kick ass documentary that has absolutely nothing to do with Scrabble. It’s called Sidewalk Slopers, a biography of the lives of a secretive batch of hobbits from a far away mythical land called Londonshire. In Londonshire, the streets are paved, and the buildings are built. People wear funny hats, end all words with “-nyck”, and instead of working, people climb things. Security guards give you money, and the beer tastes really…fucking…good.

(Sweet, I’m halfway through what is shaping up to be the worst product review of all time. At this point, the producers of this flick, with whom I’m supposed to be cooperating, are scratching their heads wondering why the hell they ever agreed to let me sell this.)

But seriously now: Sidewalk Slopers is documentary about the London buildering scene. The first part of the DVD documents last summer’s London Buildering Championship, which you may remember from Kiell’s write-up a few months back. The video footage is impressive; these kids aren’t messing around. I don’t know how hard the climbs are, but I’m guessing somewhere between damn hard and impossible minus one.

The second part of the DVD showcases a bunch of different London locals and climbers. My personal favorite is the Millenium Bridge traverse. I don’t know how they get away with climbing such prominent landmarks, as London is the most surveilled city in the world. You literally can’t leave the house without being noticed by a security camera. Kudos to the climbers for rising above.

All and all, Sidewalk Slopers is an entertaining piece, and I recommend you find yourself a copy. What’s that you say? You can order it right here on That absolutely right. You too can be the proud owner of this fine piece of videography for the low, low price of $28.95 CAN.

For Can/USA orders, use the PayPal shopping cart above. If you live in Vancouver send me an email to get your copy.

Sidewalk Slopers trailer: