Since 1982, the Buildering Access Fund (BAF) has championed climbers’ rights of unfettered access to man’s greatest architectural achievements. Through the financial support of building climbers just like you, BAF has actualized innovative programs such as the “Fuck Nature, Just Pave It” advocacy group, and BAF’s multi-tiered training seminar on raising buildering unawareness.

Perhaps BAF’s greatest invention is the indoor climbing gym. In 1987, BAF founder Ardimus Arvin noticed a disturbing trend in rock climber demographics. Climbing was no longer the sole domain of a few obsessives residing as outlaws amongst Yosemite’s boulders, living off tourist scraps and marmot. Inevitably weekend warrior types were drawn to the sport by the mainstream appeal of brightly colored tights and neato accessories.

Resigned to 9-5 jobs during the week, these misplaced urban climbers buildered in the evenings to satiate their new found climbing addiction. The popularity boom of buildering did not bode well with authorities. Fearing a global crackdown on building climbing, Ardimus launched the world’s first indoor climbing facility; where climbers could climb safely and legally, and fix their hair in the provided change rooms. Climbing gyms went gangbusters. With the outer facades of buildings left undisturbed by all but a stubborn few, buildering returned to a law enforcement threat level akin to fires on the beach and busking without a permit.

Such innovation is standard for BAF. We’re constantly evolving to keep pace with our ever-changing environment. But we need your help more than ever. Every two seconds a football field worth of prime, commercially zone-able real estate is declared a national park. We need to act now before it’s too late. Seriously, give us your money dammit! Fuck you! For the cost of just three Venti Macchiatos per day, you can sponsor one needy builderer, assuring that his or her desires remain whimsical and largely unchallenged. Consider giving today.


Figure 1. Your money at work.