This thread is dedicated to all manner of free sports videos (and photos, I guess). For the more questionable sports (scooters, fixies, rollerblades) Ard will let us know whether they are acceptable or not. General aspersions will also be cast on things like clothing (we strongly suggest that you DO NOT wear shorts), music, editing, originality, etc. All remarks shall be prejudiced, unreasonable, bigotted and potentially offensive.

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149 Responses

  1. Kiell Reply

    (Ironic wearing of shorts may be permitted. This is at Ard’s discretion.)

    edit: I posted the wrong video. Watch this.

  2. Kiell Reply

    In the last week I’ve watched what for me have been three of the most important videos in terms of free sports for 2010.  The Danny MacAaskill video posted above, and these two movies.  The first is the Killian Martin skate film directed by Brett Novak and unites some incredible and truly original skill with some rather beautiful editing.

    The second was released earlier today and is having an enormous impact on the world of free running. Storm Freerun is a new team that brings together a few former members of Urban Freeflow (two of which told UF to go f*ck themselves immediately following the World Champs in Trafalgar Square due to dodgy dealings, I’m told) with a few other very talented individuals.

    It’s been a good week, I’d say.

  3. ardarvin Reply

    ==============================================================================
    TRIALS BIKES
    ==============================================================================

    Abso-fucking-lutely. This thread that is. As for trials bikes? Not OK. Fifteen years of hopping around on your back tire like a fucking pogo stick is enough history to firmly plant this sport into the not OK category. However, it seems, like longboarding, that some enlightened few are beginning to realize that they can use their inferior tools in a fashion akin to their grown up counterparts. So, with a few more Danny Macaskills in the world, we may just see a transition of trials bikes into the OK category.

  4. ardarvin Reply

    ==============================================================================
    SKATEBOARDING
    ==============================================================================

    Kilian Martin just gave me a boner and it’s awkward because I’m at work. For those who are oblivious to the most obvious of truths, skateboarding is the most OK of “tricks OK” sports. It’s the most difficult, pure, athletic endeavor ever invented by a time traveling Marty McFly. Anyone who tells you otherwise is a fag. Be wary though, skateboarding has a lot of retarded stepchildren which are decidedly not OK. Here’s a good guideline to keep you on the straight and narrow: if your board is longer than 33″ or narrower than 7.25″, you’re a fag.

    Kilian knows how to ride a well proportioned skateboard, and make it look like he’s having fun doing it. This is key. There’s a lot of rage in skateboarding, stemming from the fact that even the best skaters in the world land only 2.5% of their tricks. It’s that fucking hard. Thankfully, video cameras and clever editing have made skateboarding watchable. Someone should’ve clued in those fucks over at the X-Games that broadcasting live coverage of skateboarding was a bad idea. Kilian looks like he’s happy, which makes me happy. I’d like to get some ice cream with him.

    I had to watch the part 1:41 into the video four times before I finally got it. At first I was like, “Did they just show a fucking kickflip? WTF?” Then I was all like, “Well maybe it was switch, but still, WTF?” Then I thought he was doing a body-varial, which is still sorta gay. Finally…aaaaaah. Zen.

  5. ardarvin Reply

    ==============================================================================
    PARKOUR
    ==============================================================================

    “Wait, is this the new Audi commercial? Hey, he dropped his chicken. She’s kinda hot, in a British sorta way,” are all thoughts running through my head while watching this latest offering from a couple dudes I met way back when Parkour was still in its “look I’m walking but I still need to hold mommy’s hand” stage. It’s no secret that I’m fucking old, which through inductive reasoning, would mean these guys are old too. I thought Parkour was for 13 year olds who weren’t popular enough to make the basketball team?

    But no. Here’s a video of some old dudes doing Parkour, which is like watching Sean Connery do James Bond, i.e. exactly how it should be. They make everything look better. It’s bigger, harder, more stylish, more stylish, more stylish. You might be 11 years old and have your black belt in Tae Kwon Do, but I can still kick your ass six ways to Sunday.

    I like this video a lot. I don’t know what the fuck I’m still doing here typing on this keyboard, because right now all I want to do is go down to the gym and utterly destroy myself in order to have even the slightest chance of doing the type of shit these guys are doing. And that’s exactly how a video is supposed to make you feel.

    Oh, and as far where Parkour sits in the “tricks OK, tricks not OK” list, well it doesn’t. That list is reserved for all the stupid contraptions people use to express themselves, impress their girlfriends, and fulfill Maslow’s hierarchy of needs.

  6. Kiell Reply

    Right. Like a complete fucktard, i posted the wrong Danny MacAskill video.  I somehow posted his trailer, not his full vid.  Blow your mind with this:

     

     

  8. Jayness Reply

    Yah I can’t believe he doesn’t think trials riding is impressive…but what does he think of breakdancing?  Or is that also defy categorization because it doesn’t involve any apparatus (well except for music of course)?

     

     

  9. ardarvin Reply

    Read closely folks. One Danny MacAskill does not a legitimate sport make. I challenge you to find one other person making trials look halfway decent.

    And what’s with this thread turning into “sports that Red Bull thinks is cool”? Here, I’ll beat you to the punch: go karts – NOT ok, slalom in planes – NOT ok, spinning around in cars – OK. That’s all I had for off the top of my head…uhmmm…oh God…a quick Google search shows that Red Bull is into EVERYTHING. Hmm, fine then. I hereby rename this thread: Red Bull Tricks OK / Red Bull Tricks NOT OK.

    ==============================================================================
    BREAKDANCING
    ==============================================================================

    Qualifies for categorization due to the essential breakdancing apparatus: the hat. You know, the upside-down-on-one-arm-and-tip-your-hat move, and the put-your-hat-on-the-ground-and-spin-around-it-move. No breakdance performance is complete without either.

    By now you may be thinking “Ard’s just gonna say any lame sport is OK if it progresses enough, a la Danny MacAskill and trials riding.” Well, you’d be wrong. Take Breakdancing — a pastime once irrefutably OK when practiced solely by inner-city black youths with leather vests in New York. It’s since “progressed” firmly into the NOT OK category. Breakdancing is a case study in how to do everything wrong. First, take an amazing and innovative dance style, and strip it of all the style. Your goal is to imitate a Wushu movie, without all the cool slow motion. Forget about uprocking or any of that other bullshit that actually requires one to know how to dance. Power is key, and the guy who can balance on one finger tip like Luke Skywalker in Empire Strikes Back will win every time. Next, refuse to update the music you dance to, despite all amazing new, and fully suitable musical discoveries dug up by DJs committed to progressing a scene. Fuck all that “new shit”. In order to really nail down your performance, you should perfect dancing to one song only. And that song, of course, is “It’s Just Begun” by Jimmy Castor.

    The unfuckable breakdancing. R.I.P.:

  10. Jayness Reply

    I don’t think you know what you’re talking about, Ard.  Have you ever been to a bboy competition?  I’m not saying there aren’t powerheads – but at least in the States, with the exception of Chicago (where I’m from, oddly enough), they’re mostly frowned upon.  So at the same competition last year, this guy embarassed this year’s winner. 

  11. ardarvin Reply

    Been to, and DJed, a bunch of em. Ard Disclaimer: Judgements may be blown *slightly* out of proportion for the sake of entertainment. 😉

  12. Jayness Reply

    Your sensible reply does not a good flame war make.  Whatever happened to that guy who said this site is for tooth-bleaching hipsters or something of that sort?  He was fun.  Also I think I found a “sport” we can all agree falls firmly into the ‘NOT OK’ category.

  13. ardarvin Reply

    I hope those kids got more than a free “board” and a pack of stickers for selling their souls to satan.

    Yes, perhaps its a sign of getting old, or more likely it’s that I don’t want to scare away the few remaining readers of this website — but in any case I find myself being a lot less confrontational these days. I mean, if you were a total dick, I’d split you in half with my substantial wit and wordsmithing, but you seem like a genuinely cool dude.

  14. Jayness Reply

    I often feel old myself…and then I saw this.  Damn kids with their incredible potential.  I guess I should stop posting breakdance videos as a rule but I think this earns an exception.  Prepubescent breakdancing is A-OK!  The kid is 8, by the way.

  16. Kiell Reply

    Ard, I fear you might be wrong about breakdancing. If it were about dancing, surely it would be called, er, “dancing” and not “breakdancing”.

    Either way, this is ace:

  17. Jayness Reply

    When it comes to crazy strength in the breakdancing world, Junior is the undisputed king.  There was a video of him that went viral several years ago (just google “best breakdancer” and you get a white guy and a black guy – he’s the black guy (French if you care (embedded parenthetical statements (AHHH)))).

     

    Then of course there’s *this* guy.

     

    In Ard’s absence, we are hijacking this comment thread for the purposes of breakdancing.

  19. ardarvin Reply

    Stop it! My opinions (in the context of this TRICKS OK thread, but could also be applied to general life) are not opinions at all. They are pronouncements, judgments, unanimous and unappealable rulings by the Supreme Court of Internet. While some may be unaccustomed to such unbridled authority, it’s a much needed relief to our “anything goes” wayward society. I’m here to tell you with Holy ordained authority that breakdancing is NOT OK. My logic may confuse, astound, and refuse to be contained within Venn diagrams, truth tables, or any other primitive human logic construct — but IT IS SOUND.

    Now let us move on.

    ==============================================================================
    SQUIRREL SUITS, SNOWBOARDS, SKIS, FLIPPERS and SNORKELS, OR ANYTHING ELSE WORN IN CONJUNCTION WITH A PARACHUTE WHILE FREE FALLING
    ==============================================================================

    sky dive boob grab

    Really all of this comes down to one question: in the time between jumping out of a plane and hitting the ground, is it OK to have some fun? And the answer is unequivocally YES. TRICKS OK! People really get creative on this one. First it was, “Holy shit we just joined hands and made a ring! We’re so totally awesome.” Then people replaced the hammer-pants for tights, strapped on a snowboard (with the oddest of forward stances), and were “so totally awesome”! Awesome! Then came the non-extreme EXTREME: people doing totally mundane things in the air, like eating breakfast, playing Scrabble, or getting married — transforming the mundane into extreme. Awesome! Squirrel suits, unicycles, watching an episode of Lost? Why not? During the time period that people have scored highest on accurately predicting as their last 60 seconds on earth, people really should do what they love.

    But we are still thinking small here. How about swimming in a ball pool, but the balls are golden retriever puppies? Or having sex with Scarlett Johansson and/or Brad Pitt, whilst drinking a 64 year old scotch, with Stevie Wonder singing the chorus from “I Believe (When I Fall In Love It Will Be Forever)”. Or watching Christopher Walken dance to “Weapon of Choice”, momentarily stopping to hand you the keys to a quaint heritage house in Kitsilano with neighbors who smile and wave when you leave for work every morning. Or the snowboard, that’s cool too.

  23. ardarvin Reply

    ==============================================================================
    SALZIG SPORTHOCKER (Translation: Salty Sport Stools)
    ==============================================================================
    pic

    Salty fucking sport stools? SALTY FUCKING SPORT STOOLS? “Bazooko’s Circus is what the whole hep world would be doing every Saturday night if the Nazis had won the war,” Hunter S. Thompson, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. I didn’t want to go there, but please stop making it so easy. From Kraftwerk, to Hasselhoff, to Rammstein, to this?!? Actually, I kinda like Rammstein. Especially their song where they say “R-R-R-Rammstein.” That one’s the best.

    ==============================================================================
    BENCH STANDING
    ==============================================================================
    pic

    Ab-so-fucking-lutely!

    ==============================================================================

    pic

    R-R-R-R-ammstein.

  24. Jayness Reply

    I donno, Ard. I mean yes, I agree, that stool sport looks incredibly retarded. But at the same time I can’t help but think it looks fun. After all, parkour to most people is just a bunch of kids jumping out of trees and rolling on the ground.

    I’ve tried this before. It’s a shit ton harder than it looks. It’s…well it’s closer to a rip-stick than anything else but it’s not quite that useless and it takes more like 5 hours to get going instead of 5 minutes. I doubt it’ll ever take off any more than soap shoes though (If you don’t know, soap shoes were a niche fad in the late 90’s where they attached a piece of plastic to the middle of the sole of skate shoes for grinding. The downside to this though was just walking around you don’t realize how much you rely on the traction of the center of your foot, so just walking up and down stairs became perilous if you weren’t self-conscious).

  26. Jayness Reply

    I’m just going to start judging sports by what the practitioners wear. Those guys are dressed like white trash. It’s like ballet for the socially disgruntled youth (although they don’t even look that young). Also I don’t have editing privileges on this site like you.

    Crazy Saudis.

  27. ardarvin Reply

    Sorry guys, been in Germany. Back and ready to kick some ass. Jayness, consider yourself knighted. Edit/post FP stories to your heart’s content. On with the show.

    ==============================================================================
    FREELINE
    ==============================================================================

    God, these things pop up like whack-a-mole. Every five years or so, someone comes up with something new to strap on your feet. From rollerblades to snakeboards to soapshoes to freeline. Please stop the madness!

    Now, lest I sound bigoted, I will say that most of these things look fun to try once or twice. Absolutely. I’m not anti-fun. What I am, is anti-not-being-able-to-get-a-girl and anti-getting-beaten-up-in-the-skatepark. If you’ve got any doubts, just use that last one as your golden rule. Who doesn’t get hassled at the skatepark? Skateboarders and BMXers. BMXers might get harshed out a bit because they fuck up the concrete and coping with their pegs, but that has nothing to do with the legitimacy of the sport.

    Freeline looks entertaining, and if someone gave me a pair right now, I’d boot scoot my ass up and down the office hallway. But I’d seriously reconsider a pro career at it. Here’s another rule: Wanna know if a sport is cool or not? Look at the pros. Are they wearing helmets and pads? The sport sucks. Are they “semi-athletic” looking? The sport sucks. Do they wear silly hats? The sport sucks. All of these descriptors fit the “pros” in Jayness’ vid — except for that Christian Hosoi looking motherfucker. Where did they get that guy? They must’ve paid a shit-tonne of $$$ for his cameo.

    ==============================================================================
    BLARKOUR
    ==============================================================================

    Solid proof that any historically lame sport, aka rollerblading, if done well, can look pretty damn cool. I was wondering what the hell happened to all the bladers. I was not-so-secretly hoping they’d all committed suicide. But no, apparently they’ve been in the trenches, honing their skills and primed to burst back on the scene with force. That drop at the end gets serious respect from the Ardster.

    This gets into a tricky gray area. Thankfully, I’m here to clarify. Type “is rollerblading” in Google right now. Do it. What does the auto-complete show?

    As you can see, besides the fitness nuts, the number one question: “is rollerblading gay?” People are yearning to know. Nitpickers will say, “is rollerblading easy?” ranks higher, but really it is the same question; i.e. “That sure does look gay. It can’t possibly be very hard.”

    Well, it’s good science that rollerblading has always been gay. They don’t call it fruit booting for nothing. Way too many boot grabs. But given this new evidence, the question is, is rollerblading STILL gay? The answer: yes. But barely.

    I feel Mathieu Ledoux is on the verge of something god-like: the creation of light out of darkness. A new sport. I call it blarkour (it was that or parkade, but I think the latter might be confusing.) It makes a lot of sense: parkour is all about flow, and rollerblades have wheels. The limitation of parkour is that you have to run. Where is he running to? What is he running from? Running at full speed just looks silly. But with rollerblades you just flow. No questions asked, he’s just flowing. If Mathieu could strengthen up his legs for the landings, stop grabbing his goddamn boots (they won’t fall off, promise — and no, this isn’t snowboarding), and take off that silly hat, we might be onto something beautiful.

    ==============================================================================
    SAUDI CAR SLIDING
    ==============================================================================

    Sarcasm can be hard to detect in the printed word. Fortunately I possess an acute intellect. That’s why I know surely Jayness jests. Saudi car sliding is the biggest DO in this whole damn list. Looking back to the Ten Commandments of “Tricks OK, Tricks NOT OK”, https://www.buildering.net/node/929, you’ll see I was blessed with the foresight to include cars in the OK list. Naturally this includes all variations and interactions with the moving automobile. Ghost ride the whip? Abso-fucking-lutely. Strap on a pair of foot slidey things Ă  la the hands slides Stacy Perelta does in Public Domain and slide behind/besides a car? Naturally.

    Here’s another hint: what are the rich people doing — the guys that are so filthy rich and jaded that hookers, blow, and eating sushi off of naked chicks doesn’t cut it anymore? Do that.

  29. Kiell Reply

    Ard wrote, “Every five years or so, someone comes up with something new to strap on your feet. From rollerblades to snakeboards to soapshoes to freeline.”

    Yes. Yes they do. Here is me emphasising the point somewhat.

    Dogboarding from DANIELS on Vimeo.

    (This vid and killian martin both stolen from stickyparkour.com)

  30. Kiell Reply

    Again, I feel I may be courting controversy with this one. I fear this might make Ard angry…

    (Best viewed without the music, unless you have a penchant for songs that sound like they should have been made in 1996…)

  31. Jayness Reply

    We’re all about controversy here, Kiell. Be it sport bikes, flatland BMX, trials riding…okay so maybe we’re just about bikes. And my oh my that music is atrocious. I say flatland is A-Okay, but we’ll just have to wait for the infallible judgment handed down by the Almighty Ard.

    I just found this and obviously I have to try it (the guy who developed it is a professor at my school). I don’t care how stupid I look because I’ll be too busy having fun.

  32. Kiell Reply

    This whole film is a little too long but the first minute or so is quite beautiful. Not sure where it quite fits in the whole ‘tricks ok/tricks not ok’ thread but wanted to post it somewhere and this looked as good a place as any.

    Lundberg Loses It from Kenny Luby on Vimeo.

  33. Kiell Reply

    Love the pogo vid by the way, Jayness. Nice find.

    “I don’t care how stupid I look because I’ll be too busy having fun.”

    I don’t think Ard will appreciate this sentiment in the slightest. 😉

  34. Kiell Reply

    Thick and fast they come this morning.

    Not sure if I got this off my chest already, but… I find the whole x fighters thing really, really boring. I don’t care how much money Red Bull throw at it, I don’t care how exciting a location they find for their massive dirt ramps. It’s so fucking DULL I can’t even convey it in words.

    However. This is pretty fucking impressive.

  35. ardarvin Reply

    ==============================================================================
    FLATLAND BMX
    ==============================================================================

    BMX, like skateboarding, is pretty hard to fuck up. It’s inherently Tricks OK. For those questioning the flatland BMX offshoot, just Google Dennis McCoy, or pick up an 80s BMX Plus! magazine for your answer. It kicks ass!

    Back in the 80s, there was no “street riding”. It was flatland, vert ramps, or racing — and flatland reigned supreme. Factor in that the new generation is doing these same tricks WITH NO BRAKES, and you’ve got something impressive.

    Regarding Keelan Phillips’ choice in music, why he didn’t use Real Life’s “Send Me An Angel” is beyond me. Those who got that reference can be my friend. On Facebook.

    ==============================================================================
    EXTREME POGO
    ==============================================================================

    Dear Vurtego/Flybar/Up Wing/BowGo inventor,

    Congratulations. You built a better mousetrap. And you managed to secure a unique trademark. Let the millions in profits roll in. Just a small favour to ask: twenty years from now when you’re relaxing in the penthouse of your ivory tower and it suddenly dawns on you how you’ve singlehandedly destroyed the credibility of a generation, please don’t hit my car on your flight through the window.

    Yours Truly,

    ArdArvin

    ==============================================================================
    DIRTBIKES
    ==============================================================================

    Of course tricks are the thing to do on a dirtbike. Tricks OK. But I’m with Kiell on this one, how fucking dull. That reminds me, did you know Bukowski wrote about buildering? He writes about a German guy who drives him up to an L.A. planetarium. The German climbs up the wall of the planetarium, and Bukowski says “how dull.” Then he comments on how the German likes to smell women’s dirty undies…you know, typical Bukowski shit.

    Where was I? Oh ya, dirtbikes. Ya, ya, people these days are going so fucking huge off jumps, doing 4970s with triple backflips, but where’s the DANGER? Everyone is genetically cloned for their extreme-sport role. They’re robots. Give me Evel Knievel eating shit on his Harley XR-750, over this anemic Red Bull dreck any day of the week.

  36. Jayness Reply

    Pfft, Ard is just jealous because he knows I broke the BowGo. I know you’re stalking me on facebook Ard, don’t try to deny it! Also I’m fairly certain the professor (let’s just say Professor Farnsworth, although any of you could easily look him up on the internet anyway) is more concerned with making the world a better place than making it more X-treme. I could be wrong though. He is a little crazy (as any good professor should be). FYI you can’t buy the actual BowGo in stores, just a crappified version designed with safety in mind for little children. The real thing is surprisingly scary and fun.

    I’m too lazy to make a witty comment about this “sport”; and as we all know Ard takes great pleasure in arduously ardiculating his lengthy sarcastic verdicts. From now on I’m calling you Arduous.

  37. Kiell Reply

    The SkateCycle is AWESOME. You can do 180s AND you can manual! That’s TWO tricks! Count them!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111eleven

  38. ardarvin Reply

    Heh, nice comment Kiell 😀 When are people going to realize that aggro music in a video does not make the footage impressive? 0:41 he “ollies” over a fucking longboard. I mean come on. My cousin can ollie 18 skateboards stacked on end, and semis.

    [I just Googled that cousin quote to try and figure out what skate vid it was from — what comes up? Me saying it 5 years ago. Maybe a little too obscure?]

  39. Kiell Reply

    Saw flatland BMXer Keelan Phillips doing his stuff in the flesh earlier this week. So, so impressive. Trying to convince Nike to give him some shoes cos christ he deserves them.

  40. ardarvin Reply

    About the tipping point for another official Ard ruling, but in the mean time, this made me chuckle from http://www.viceland.com/int/dd.php?id=2240:


    This guy is a total toss-up in terms of what he does with his life. He’s either a crystal-meth addict who works part-time at a place called Smoothie Hut or he’s a kid who went to your high school who is now the #12-ranked Razor-scooter rider in America and gets flown around the world getting rich off his stoner college hobby. Either way I wouldn’t let him have protected sex with my sister.

  42. ardarvin Reply

    “I don’t care if people think it’s cool or not, I’m just going to do what I love to do” – Mathieu Ledoux.

    Such wisdom and rationale has no place in this thread.

  45. ardarvin Reply

    Whoa…that air thing is cool. Such control. The farting electro bass song goes well with it too. Other link is 404.

  46. Zshallburn Reply

    @ardarvin I stumbled upon this and couldn’t stop myself from typing. Why do you want to categorize something as cool or not. If there’s glamor and style and things that feed the public, then it’s good; and if it’s not so stylized, it’s bad? No offense but I find this mentality to be kiddish.
    If it wasn’t a Saudi in a low quality video doing that thing with his car, and if it was someone like Travis Pastrana with all his “style” and fame, I’m sure car sliding would have been cool too.

    Moreover “coolness” or “style” itself is subjective. And so is what’s lame or what’s smart or the choice of music in one’s video. It all depends upon the individual’s perception what he/she thinks is good.

    You say “Running at full speed just looks silly” (parkour). Well everything looks silly if you want to see it that way. Skateboarding for example. Why would someone fix a bunch of wheels to a board, why would someone then ride on it, and what’s the point of causing such movement?
    On the contrary, running at full speed is flow as well, just like rollerblading, skateboarding.

    I say let people do what they want to do, no matter what contraptions they come up with. If someone tries to definitively categorize something as good or bad because pop culture or everyone around him think so, then it just shows that the person has no thinking of his own.

    Random person: “Oh this is gay!”
    Well why do you think it’s gay? Probably because a million other people say it’s gay. Probably because someone sometime posted something stupid on youtube that got a million views or maybe because women dance with them (imagining rollerblades in this case). So what? Really. It’s like viruses how these stereotypical ideas of what’s gay and what’s cool get stuck in people’s brains and then spread.

    “I don’t care if people think it’s cool or not, I’m just going to do what I love to do”
    Agree 100%.

  47. ardarvin Reply

    Oh Zshallburn. You are so cute, and innocent, and cuddly, and bright-eyed. I want to mash you up into little bits and hug you to death. Like care bear pudding. Pudding made of care bears. Please stay with us Z…you’re our only hope.

  48. Kiell Reply

    Fuck me. Someone took this thread seriously? Jesus F Christ on a bicycle. Break out the balloons; it’s time for the hookers and that 8 ball I had tucked down the back of the sofa.

  49. Jayness Reply

    The real question is how many people take this seriously but don’t bother to register and post? Ard, give me your site traffic data so I may do some statistical magickery (you know, guessing) to determine a scientific* result!

    *SCIENCE!

  50. Kiell Reply

    I’m a bit disappointed that Zshallburn didn’t continue his wordy diatribe. I was looking forward to more.

    Anyhoo. There are two sports to end all sports. And here they are. A double fister, if you will.

  52. ardarvin Reply

    OMG that flipperjerkin thing is amazing!

    tricksok.com is coming along. I’m stuck on a Drupal formatting thing though. Hopefully it’s gonna be a user driven site where members submit a link to a video, which auto creates a poll, where anyone can vote OK, NOT OK. And (possibly) super users get to do “rulings”. Sound good? Any other suggestions?

  55. Jayness Reply

    With regards to the new website, is it just going to be you (Ard), Kiell, and me as moderators? Considering we seem to be the only people contributing to this thread I think that’s fair. I also think (although I’m sure at least one of you will shoot this down) that any 2 mods can override another mod’s vote.

    Thoughts?

  56. Jayness Reply

    I wasn’t really sure where to put this video – I’m not sure it’s quite up to par for the YouTube thread as it’s just a promo (and not for something as amazingly awesome and unique as Concrete Circus) and it’s certainly not breaking any new ground for a decision in this thread…but it is a sport, so here it is.

    Let’s see how Drupal handles large embedded videos.

  58. Jayness Reply

    I actually just checked to see whether or not I’d uploaded this before – I can’t believe I never did.

  59. Kiell Reply

    Ah, Brett, welcome to the world’s smallest club. 😉 You are most welcome. Vitriol and hyperbole greatly anticipated. 😀

    ard/jayness/everyone: Brett is one of the directors shortly to blow the world away in the documentary that I just finished work on. I think I may have mentioned it once or twice…

  61. Kiell Reply

    Has Brett’s post disappeared? Has technology declared him too closely involved with Tricks OK / Tricks Not OK for him to be deemed eligible to cast aspersions? His post originally appeared twice and I deleted one of them. Dunno where the other has gone. I may be boy-looking, however. (That’s not as gay as it sounds, by the way. It’s when you can’t see something even though it’s right there.)

  62. ardarvin Reply

    Shit. I think I accidentally deleted it. I was cleaning up the thread, deleting all my drupal-related drivel. I think he must’ve “replied” to one of those (vs. just use the comment box)…and it deleted it. Gah. Double gah. You got it sitting in your browser cache anywhere? I can put it back in that way, but no way to undo the delete.

  63. ardarvin Reply

    ==============================================================================
    TRAMPOLINE BOARDS
    ==============================================================================

    http://youtu.be/TqXVt-ILNB0

    Soccer4kyle be trollin’. Or he’s delirious. “CRAZY NEW SPORT OF Trampoline Bounce Boarding”? Any dunce can tell you that snowboarders have been strapping on boards and hopping on trampolines for decades – but they have perspective enough not to claim it as CRAZY, NEW, or a SPORT. It’s training, pure and simple. Now take that shitty 540°-misty-flip-nose-grab you learned in the gym and huck it off a 50 foot cliff. Then we can talk tricks OK. Next.

    ==============================================================================
    SKATECYCLE
    ==============================================================================
    [Skatecycle also properly addressed by Kiell earlier in the thread.]

    http://youtu.be/TqXVt-ILNB0

    Just when you thought the Tron series couldn’t get any gayer…

    ==============================================================================
    SLACKLINE
    ==============================================================================

    http://youtu.be/YNct3d7hMOA
    I’m slacklining at the beach the other day, a family walks by and the kid says “Daddy, is that hard?” A perfect summary of the unimpressiveness of slacklining. If you have to ask, it aint shit.

    Slacklining to keep your skills up for highlining is one thing, but these tricks guys are on an entirely wrong path. You do realize you’re publicly sacking yourself (over and over again) and calling it a trick right? Maybe I’m living in an alternate universe, but last I checked that shit aint cool. I’m officially renaming this sport Bouncy Babies For Eunuchs.

    ==============================================================================
    ROLLER SKATING
    ==============================================================================

    http://youtu.be/cI3k–_jqys
    Here’s another one that’s a solid Tricks OK, until Whitey McHopHead gets down with it. God I want to be black so badly. You can’t fail. If blacks got together tomorrow and decided lawn darts were cool, shit’d be sold out by the weekend. Only blackness could have saved aggressive inline from its fiery demise.

    Here we have roller skating – a pastime held warmly in our hearts from its association with 50s drive-in girls, and somewhat for roller derby girls. In the 80s, white dudes tried to fuck it up by using roller skates on vert ramps, but thankfully nobody remembers this. Not even Google. You’ll have to trust me on this one. [Pro snowboarder Shaun Palmer was at the forefront of the scene, I shit you not.]

    Roller rinks were popular during the disco era, but when disco died whitey moved on. Blacks took it underground though, enjoying an expressive and stylish scene devoid of the rhythmically challenged. The result is J.B. roller skating. And what a majestic bird it is.

    Sadly, I can’t find any recent info on this activity. I suspect that once news of its existence was leaked onto the internet, us white boys tried to get in on the action and, well, you know the story.

  64. Kiell Reply

    Need to come back and watch the rest of this video as I’m tired and sleep is important right now. Also, I’m undecided as to whether this guy is pushing boundaries or is just a bit of a dick with self-harm tendencies.

  66. Kiell Reply

    (Why I haven’t gotten around to posting the Concrete Circus vids in this thread I’m not sure. I shall rectify this over the coming weeks.)

    Whatever you might think about flatland bmx, the undeniable truth is that Keelan Philips is a fucking legend.

  67. ardarvin Reply

    You’ll get no argument from me. I gave up on flatland because it was too hard, and back then we used locking brake levers. This shit is levels beyond. Was this one of the films you were involved with?

  70. ardarvin Reply

    Finally, something controversial. I was beginning to think this thread lost its way. Cool vid. Blading is still shit though. Fundamental flaw with blading: the thought, “damn that’d look cool on a skateboard.”

  71. Kiell Reply

    R. Agree. Nice vid, and those guys look like they’re enjoying themselves with a real nice vibe. But yes. Someone buy them a skateboard.

  73. Kiell Reply

    Kept meaning to add this to the thread if simply as a point of reference.

    My proudest contribution to television is my involvement in this:

  76. ardarvin Reply

    Oh my god Kiell. You just made my day. That flyboard video is perfect. This is the crowning achievement of man. From sperm, to man, to sperm. The cycle is complete.

  77. Jayness Reply

    This sorta belongs in the YouTube thread, and it sorta belongs here, and the music is totally gay. But hey – I bet there are at least a few things in here you haven’t seen before.

  85. Kiell Reply

    John Bourne just reminded me on Facebook about this vid. I demand a second by second analysis of it from ard. Thank you.

  89. Jayness Reply

    You’re back from Bangkok you say? I’m far more interested in the all the cock banging you did with trannies. I want to post a video from The Hangover 2, but then this thread will quickly spiral out of control…so let’s make a new one! ‘Cuz I haven’t already made a half dozen threads that only I ever use.

  97. Kiell Reply

    As a guy it’s hard not to sound like a patronising tool when it comes to talking about girls who do extreme sports. So I won’t.

    Respect.

  111. Jayness Reply

    Yessss, a new poster! I love both those videos, krypt. You might want to checkout our once famous YouTube thread (https://buildering.net/node/516), as both those videos are in there. It’s okay though, they definitely belong here. Also a quick rundown on embedding videos from YouTube: click the share button, then click the embed button, then copy and paste into this box. And most of all, welcome to the world’s weirdest club.

  112. krypt Reply

    Haha awesome thanks! I was like “how the fuck did everybody do that?” Ok I’m practicing on this one — don’t have time to look through that youtube thread so sorry if this is on there, too. (p.s. that thread looks rad)
    I used to do a lot of buildering but not anymore the past two years — I’m living in a communist country and the cops don’t mess around with that kind of thing here. Glad to be in the club.

    —-
    edit:

    in the interest of staying on topic, i would add that i think this video sums up why skating falls in the “Tricks OK” category — it’s really hard; when you fail you get hurt; and it looks cool as shit.

  115. ardarvin Reply

    Yes! Thanks for the vids. I started skating again. Forgot how much fun it is. Was skating barefoot at a park the other day, some kid informed my that I should “really be wearing shoes, it hurts if you fail.” 😀

  119. ardarvin Reply

    My ears are ringing. Thank you Kiell. I’ve been enjoying a summer of rock climbing, buildering, and 0 amount of blogging. Thanks for keeping things alive. The good news (?) is that rain is coming, and with that, free time to surf internets.

  122. Kiell Reply

    This is such a perfect piece of film making. I love this for so many different reasons. It’s social, anthropological, understated, deft and beautifully put together. This is what freesports film making should be all about.

    QUIK from Colin Kennedy on Vimeo.

  123. Kiell Reply

    Ok. So just when I thought we had pretty much exhausted controversy…

    Mr Arvin is going to have a FIELD DAY. BOOOOOMHEADSHOT!!!

  124. ardarvin Reply

    ==============================================================================
    ROAD BIKES
    ==============================================================================

    FINALLY, it’s time for another proclamation on the validity of a questionable sport. It’s been far too long, and no I haven’t been ignoring this thread, it’s just all that other stupid shit posted hasn’t been worthy of the calories required to push on this generic Dell keyboard of mine. How many calories is that I wonder? Not enough to keep from getting fat, the only byproduct of an office job worth noting. But does it help my finger strength for climbing? I AM a pretty aggressive typer. Typist? Fuck you spell checker. I prefer typer. And clicker. My stupid-ass generic Dell mouse has a scroll wheel which CLICKS SO DAMN LOUD, the whole office knows when I’m browsing Reddit.

    So what are we talking about? Road bikes? Just kill me now. Please. Are we that desperate on our quest for originality that we’ve succumbed to this? Surely they’re taking this piss on this. They have to be. But the longer I watch it, the more I think “God, they’ve put some real effort into this video.” Then I question my will to live.

    Cyclists are self-righteous assholes who take up good driving lanes and parking spaces to have dedicated cycling lanes that only get used when it’s not raining (two weeks out of the year for Vancouver) all in the name of Green. Do you know all those calories you are burning need to be replenished with food? Food that less-fortunate folk are dying to have. Well maybe not the vegan-wheatgrass-wholegrain-burrito you’re eating. God dammit, that reminds me. Squamish. Fuck off. What a dichotomy of a town we have there. On the one hand it’s got world-class rock climbing and the best damn burgers on the planet (Mountain Burger House). On the other hand it’s got hippies. And the Mountain Burger House keeps whittling down its hours, struggling to make a buck with that demographic. I do try to bro down with these enlightened folk from time to time, but continually get shut down.

    I was at the farmers market last week. Some sweet soul selling soap. I like soap. Good smelling, expensive stuff too. If I have to spend less than $5 on a bar of soap, I feel gypped. So, I sampled her wares, but couldn’t find the scent I was looking for. “Excuse me, do you have any sandalwood soap?” – the mention of such an esteemed natural product should bring accolades from the nature set. I could have been stabbing a baby in the eye with a Tabasco covered nail, the look I got was so icy. “NeeeeOOOO. We don’t CARRY sandalwood. It’s an endAAAAngered spEEEEcies.” Well fuck me. I grabbed the best smelling thing I could find, a mint soap, and went on my way. The soap fucking sucked. It turned into gelatinous goo the moment it came into contact with water.

    Out of the cycling demographic, road bikers are the most pretentious assholes of all. I have some grace for BMXers and fixie riders (call me a hipster, I’ll call you dated. We’re post hipster bitch.), but road cyclists are using their bikes FOR TRANSPORTATION. Hey, I’m having a slow clap party and you’re the guest of honour. They’re the BMW drivers of the bicycle world. I don’t know why that is, it just feels right. And yes, I drive a BMW.

  125. Jayness Reply

    Sweet Jebus Ard, if that’s the kind of tangent you take while sober I’d love for you to blog when drunk and/or high.

  135. Kiell Reply

    Ok, ok. NOW I understand what the word ‘douchebag’ means.

    Ard, please go postal on this shit.

  136. ardarvin Reply

    Holy fuck. I once heard someone make an interesting proposition: alter the current US nuclear launch two man rule, such that a high ranking military officer would have the launch key surgically grafted to his heart. In order to launch a nuke, the president would have to cut the key out of the officer, killing him in the process. I’d prefer this be broadcast publicly on Fox News. Heck, have a dial-a-vote system, “cut or run”. Democracy at work. Just $1.99 per vote. If there’s one media outlet the deserves more $$$ it’s Fox.

    It’d reduce military aggression, and would put the entire nation behind a cause should we ever decide to push that button. Or cause a civil war. Win win.

    The same policy should be in place when you stroll down to Best Buy to purchase a video camera. You must kill…uuuh…I was going to say a Best Buy employee, but that would make a significant dent on their hiring attractibility, and God knows some of us would secretly enjoy killing one of those fuckers*. No, let’s say you have to kill a family member. Just a small sacrifice for your license to unleash a deluge of filmographical bullshit upon the world. We bear the burden united.

    *NSA/FBI/CIA/Interpol/Whatever the Canadian one is called, take note: I’m joking. Lighten up bitches. We love Best Buy. All of us. The entire world.

  138. Kiell Reply

    A couple of things about this next one.

    1. Bodysurfing is pretty incredible and it beggars belief that it has not reached this hallowed list of everything that is cool/unacceptable.
    2. The soundtrack is baffling.
    3. I would love to know why there is a trip to the supermarket at 2:24.
    4. However awesome bodysurfing is, it’s not photogenic.
    5. 5 minutes of bodysurfing is A LOT. I got to about 3 minutes before getting a bit bored. I’m sorry.

    That is all for now.

  139. Jayness Reply

    At first I thought this video would suck because it has a cute girl in it, but holy crap she’s really good. I think the editing is a bit annoying though.

  145. ardarvin Reply

    Only controversial because duder’s got no style. And he wears a silly hat…to keep his wittle ewears warm? Oh wait, crap that’s one of those helmets people wear for insurance like the girl in Garden State. My bad. I feel like an asshole. Epilepsy is no laughing matter. But seriously, I was just waiting for the scene where he rolls along on his front wheel and changes the tire on his rear, like those Arabs in that car video.

  146. Kiell Reply

    For me, MTB/trials just took a step back from the ‘Tricks OK’ category by taking it off the street. This video is incredible, the tricks are amazing but if it’s not on the street, is it real? Thoughts please.

  148. Kiell Reply

    This is a pretty freaking awesome vid. HOWEVER. The awesomeness doesn’t truly kick in until almost 7 minutes in which is a shame cos I almost switched off after 4 minutes of enormous ramps. And let’s be honest, ramps are cool but they ain’t street and street will always be cooler. Science true fact.

  149. ardarvin Reply

    =====================================
    Hand skating
    =====================================

    From the country that brought us salty sport stools comes hand skating.

    I flip-flop on the uniquely German characteristic of being completely oblivious to the concept of cool. They just don’t give a fuck. Isn’t that what being cool is all about? Yet instead of taking it all James Dean Rebel Without A Cause, they consistently go the hand skating route. What is that? The Ying to the straight laced, serious as can be, 9-to-5 Yang? Perhaps in the pursuit of individuality there is nowhere else to go.

    In any case, the Germans are cutting edge in this regard, so lets all collectively thank them for making the world a more interesting place…after hours, when they’re not spending their efforts making sure X is exactly X, according to process Y, all properly documented and audited.

    As far as a Tricks OK, Tricks NOT OK ruling — fuck no. NOT OK. Come on, even with a healthy sense of humour thrown in, that shit is straight goofy. It aint natural. God burned down cities for less.

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