Man Shot In Disagreement Over Sandwich

Ard Arvin.

AP - A local Vancouver man died late last night after an altercation with police. Ard Arvin, 32, was tasered, pepper sprayed, shot, and urinated on by Vancouver police at Subway restaurant's 1255 Granville location. The names of the officers involved are being held pending an internal review. Witnesses say Arvin became irate while ordering a sandwich. Sandwich artist Deiter Kloon says, "He wanted more olives, which I gave him. He then asked for more, but I already gave him the maximum allowed by management." When Kloon refused Arvin's request, Arvin called 911. "They won't make it my way. That's their motto, and I'm not leaving until they give me more olives." Arvin demanded that an officer be sent down at once. The 911 operator tried to console Arvin, informing him that "My Way" hasn't been a Subway slogan since 1990. He was told that 911 was for emergency use only, and that his lack of olives was not an emergency.

Security footage reveals that Arvin then jumped over the Subway sneeze shield. "I'll make it myself!", Arvin yelled. Three subsequent 911 calls were received from the restaurant, one from Kloon. VPD officers were dispatched at once. Upon arrival, the officers witnessed Arvin still piling olives on his sandwich, muttering unintelligibly. Arvin was ordered to lay on the ground. He refused and picked up a patented Subway curved bread knife, used to cut bread in the older "u-gouge" style. Fearing for his life, one of the officers immediately tasered Arvin three times. The taser seemed to have little effect, as Arvin moved toward the cash register, picking up a stapler. "I have no idea what it was doing there, lying out in the open like that" says Kloon. "It certainly wasn't my stapler."

What happened next is difficult to determine, as an incorrectly discharged pepper spray canister incapacitated all in the restaurant. Witnesses claim to have heard gunshots next, but the officers involved claim Arvin fired first. "Audibly, the difference between a stapler and a firearm discharging is virtually indistinguishable to a civilian", states VPD forensic expert Jonathan Smirthy. The security footage is garbled at this point; which Smirthy believes is the result of aging recording equipment.

Arvin was shot 13 times in the face and died at the scene. An autopsy is scheduled to determine the cause of death. Officers suspect Arvin may have had a preexisting heart condition. No officers were harmed in the incident, although one of the officers with a previously undiagnosed incontinence problem accidentally relieved himself on Arvin. "I couldn't help it", the officer claims, "I was scared to death."

Incontinence amongst adults is no laughing matter. Over 1 in 20 Canadians suffer from this debilitating medical condition. For more information on how incontinence affects you, please visit the Canadian Continence Foundation, www.continence-fdn.ca, or talk to your family doctor.